Reserved Love: Episode 6

“I miss you”. The words that ringing in Young Won’s ears for now.

“Ah, how I can say I miss him too?” she talks to herself.

She looks at her phone and ponders for a long time. She wonders if it’s good to call him again or just leave as it is. Meanwhile Mu Young drinks the remaining beer on his bottle. It’s still noon, but he already drinks that much. For someone who actually can’t hold his liquor much, Mu Young continues to drink alcohol as if it’s nothing. Now he feels dizzy and his throat feels hot. He tries to walk back to the cottage he’s in with difficulties.

“I’m very very drunk. Should have stopped drinking it.. Hah...” Mu Young mumbles.

He finally reaches his room on a cottage and dozes off. While Young Won prepares to leave the office. She makes sure she turns off the lights before heading to outside. She fishes her headphone from her bag and put it on her ears. Music blares from her phone thtough the headphone. She opens up the playlist and plays two of her favorite bands, Muse and My Chemical Romance. She hops on a bus, heading to her home. It will take at least 30 minutes before she reaches bus stop near her apartment, so she tries to sleep. But a poster outside Jamsil Stadium catches her eyes. The glowing lights outside stadium illuminate the poster, it’s Muse Concert! In Seoul! Young Won’s heart races, she never see their performance live and now there’s a chance right in front of her. She notes the date on her smartphone and the ticket info. Now all she thinks is Muse, her favorite band from UK.

Music slowly fizzes out at a tavern Mu Young is in. Mu Young can only guesses it’s Turkish song because he doesn’t understand the lyrics at all. He’s here to satisfy his hunger, he hasn’t eaten anything for lunch and now it’s time for dinner. He orders raki and small side dishes called meze, the waiter recommends him dishes for dessert and Mu Young agrees for everything. Once his meal comes, he starts to drink. A man and a woman, seems a couple happily snap selca in front of Mu Young’s table. That makes him sad as he reminisces the past when he took selca with Na Young too. Long time ago, when they were still dating.

Mu Young feels heartbroken again. He pours more drink to his glass and struggles to be conscious. He speaks everything to his heart’s content.

“Hey, Seo Na Young, see here. I thought I could love you... I thought I could love you till the end. Even though I loved you, what have you done to me?”

Mu Young starts to cry and his tears streaming down his face.

“You said before you love me. You only love me... But now.. Hah..I can’t even be upset with the man you’re with. Because he’s my hyung, uri hyung. How I can be mad at him?”

Other diners look at Mu Young with perplexed face after he caused a scene. The waiter hurriedly come to Mu Young to help him. But now Mu Young only speak Korean, cannot speak English or Turkish so no one understand. The waiter asks him to pay and leave. Mu Young struggles to pay and even almost drops his wallet. The owner drags him out and calls him a taxi. He agrees and finally rides off the taxi to his hotel.

**

Mu Young is still nowhere to be seen in the office. Everyone’s concerned, especially his secretary and project manager. Project Manager Hyun asks Young Won if she already contacted Mu Young.

“Yes, manager. I texted him to make sure he comes,” Young Won answers.
“But how does it even happen? It’s Monday again and we still have no sight of him. Have you asked his wife too?”
“No, manager. He’s actually in the middle of divorce with Madame, so I don’t contact her.”

A man comes from the lobby and join them on the conversation. The project manager and Young Won bow and greet him immediately.

“Mu Youngie still hasn’t come yet?” Chairman Seo confirms.
“Ah yes.. I mean, not yet, Chairman!” Young Won replies.
“This guy! Does he think the company is his playground to come and play anytime?”
“No, Sir. I’m here, Sir!” Mu Young hurriedly walk to the chairman aka his father in-law.
“You look fresher and happier than before, eh?”

Mu Young smiles embarassingly at the remark. He has new spirit after comes from such long trip. He glances at Young Won and project manager who glares at him. They’re the only two person who aren’t happy or surprised he comes. Chairman Seo reminds Mu Young to work hard and take care of himself. Then he leaves them to continue working.

“Director, you have to take care the Jeju project or we’ll be doomed!” Project Maneger Hyun remarks.
“Director, how come you just come now? We’ve been waiting for you for days,” Young Won talks to him.
“I’m sorry everyone. I hope I won’t make you worried again about me in the future,” Mu Young answers with bright smile.
“Director, our Jeju project!”
“Jeju? Jejudo?” Mu Young teases them.
“Director!!”

Now the HRD department’s mood is cheerful than ever, unlike the sour mood before. Mu Young comes back as stern and strict director but he never forgets to smile to others. Oh yeah, he also puts more workload to Young Won, making her sigh that her workload seems as high as mountain. Mu Young also has to deal with new interns from another department, it makes him going bald seeing those useless interns. Other than that, project after project and seemingly endless papers and proposals from Secretary Jo keeps him busy. It’s so funny to watch for Young Won. It only makes her realizes she misses him and God knows she misses him so much.

Young Won tries to focus on her desktop when her phone vibrates for a text. She opens the text and it’s from Mu Young. Young Won looks at his desk directly in front of her, he smiles a bit at her.

“Care to go out with me?”
“No. I’m busy.”
“Come on, only tonight.”
“Where?”
“Private club B28, Cheongdam-dong. Tonight at 7.”

Young Won glares at him directly, mouthing “crazy” to Mu Young. But Mu Young only smiles and goes back to his work. Young Won tries to concentrate on her work again, but fails. She only blankly stares at her computer, failing to type what she should do. She scratches her head, annoyed at little disturbance from Mu Young before. She then decides to refresh her mind and walks out from the room, bu then a text comes again.

“Young Won-ssi, let’s work hard and finishes it until 5. Dinner is on me tonight :)))))”

**

Having dinner with Mu Young is one of her small wishes. But it’s already their second dinner, so Young Won wonders if it’s still her wish. As compromised between them, Mu Young comes with his sporty convertible car to pick up Young Won. Though she’s a bit worried if there will be other people who see them and spread rumor. Mu Young assures her not to worry and drives his car.

They both come together to the bar, it’s such an upscale bar in Cheongdam-dong and it has private club for its VIP clients, Mu Young included. Young Won never comes to such place and the interior amazes her to no end. Mu Young holds her hand and swiftly they enter the private room. It’s quite large room, but not too bright. A dining table on one corner and two couches on the other. There’s square table made of glass in between two leather couches with selection of wines and whiskey. It makes her shivering a bit, she’s still unused to dim light of a bar. They sit comfortably at the dining table, choose a menu for them.

Mu Young suddenly opens a conversation.

“Do you like Muse?”
“Muse band? That’s my favorite band?”
“Really? I like Muse too.” Mu Young replies. His eyes are sparkling.

Mu Young searches for his playlist on his smartphone and then plugs in the earphone. He gives the left earphone to Young Won and puts the right earphone to his own ear. Young Won instantly recognizes Muse’s cover on classic song “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You”. Mu Young smiles happily and they hum the song together. Mu Young, especially, really can’t take his eyes off Young Won and it makes her flustered.

I love you baby, and if it's quite alright
I need you baby to warm the lonely nights
I love you baby, trust in me when I say
oh pretty baby, don't let me down, I pray
oh pretty baby, now that I've found you, stay
and let me love you, baby, let me love you...

“Nice song, right?” Mu Young asks.
“Yes, I like it too,” Young Won answers.
“Let’s go to Muse Concert next week!” Mu Young invites her.
“Do you know they will have a concert here?”
“Of course. I will buy the tickets for two.” Mu Young promises to her.

While waiting for their meals, Mu Young tells her he used to cooking actually. That’s way before he’s married. When he was a bachelor and opens up a shop with his friends, he used to cook for himself. Young Won is amused, but she asks him to bring her food as the proof. Mu Young ready to takes the challenge.

Mu Young changes the topic again.

“And you, what about you? Can you cook?”
“Only a little. My mom runs a restaurant but she does most of the things herself,” Young Won says.
“Oh, Lee Young Won... Shouldn’t you help your mom instead? Why you come and work here?”
“I have.. quite a rebel streak. I think. Actually my father has chronic illness, mom runs a restaurant, so I also thought shouldn’t I help them and settle on my hometown? But then every time I saw a ship at the shipyard or the dock, I wanted to run away with it.”
“So?” Mu Young becomes more curious.
“So I wanted to work at shipbuilding company, I studied hard because I wanted to atttended marine engineering course. But my grades wasn’t that good so I attended chemical engineering instead. Then that’s how it started rolling, I work on oil company instead of shipbuilding company, but at least sometimes I still work on a ship.”
“Ah so that’s it.. That’s how you started to work. Quite interesting. For a woman, especially, it makes you look so different from others,” Mu Young praises her again, making her flustered.
“Would you want to listen to my piano playing?” Mu Young speaks to her.
“You can play piano?” She expresses her surprise.
“Of course. When I was in US, I learned piano from my roommate.”
“Go on then,” Young Won

There’s grand piano outside the private room. In the main hall of the bar. Usually there’s live performance here every week but guest can also play the piano after consulting with bar manager.

Mu Young sits in front of the piano and flex his fingers. He plays Chopin. Chopin-Nocturne in D flat Major Op. 27 No 2. His playing is delicate but full of emotion. Young Won look at him within his soulful eyes as he’s engrossed to the sound of piano. It evokes loneliness and tranquility for Young Won, she even closes her eyes to be completely engrossed in his playing. She feels sad for no reason and tears slowly well up in her eyes, as if the music calls on her to long for someone whom she doesn’t belong to. She feels inadequate and inappropriate now, going out with Mu Young.

After the performance, the audience and Young Won applauds for Mu Young and he gently look at her for a second. He smiles beautifully at her and then come close to her.

“Do you like my performance?” he asks.
“Yeah,” she nods.
“Let’s go home now! I have something to say to you,” he tells her.

Mu Young tries to hold her hand, but she puts down his hand, she feels uncomfortable at it. In the car, Young Won breaks down and cries. It makes Mu Young confused and asks her what happened. But she still cries hard.

“Young Won-ssi, why?”
“Mu Young-ssi, now I know I should stop this. I should have stopped from long time ago, but I go on to continue playing with you. I’m not even worth anything and I dare to have an affair with my boss. I’m sorry, I’m really sorry.”
“Young Won-ssi, why? Why you feel sorry? Sorry for what? I just don’t understand.”
“Let’s stop it, us, before going any further. We’ll be hurt if we continue it. You won’t gain anything from me.”
“Why you suddenly say this? Did I do something wrong?”
“No. Just that...” she continues crying.

Mu Young moves closer and hugs her. He tears up too seeing her cry even harder in his embrace.

“I don’t have anyone in this world. Now you want to leave me too? How I can continue living?” Mu Young tells her.
“You still have your father in-law, your brother and company.”
“I don’t need those. What I need now is you.”
“Mu Young-ssi... I can’t. I beg you to end this. What if the people know? What if my parents know? Or my friends?”
"Then what about me? Do you think you can just leave me and I don’t feel anything? Young Won-ssi.. please!”

Mu Young doesn’t like to argue, especially with her. He wipes her tears and kisses her cheek. So softly that Young Won can only feel it brushes her cheek. He then moves to kiss her lips. Tears falling down from their closed eyes. He cups her face and goes deeper into her mouth, his tongue travels to the tip of her mouth and meets her tongue. He can feel the outburst of passion inside him as he goes deeper to suck her. He embraces her in his big arms, now his body wants to own her. Even if it’s their last.

Finally Young Won pushes him out. She says in sorry state that she has to leave now. She opens the door and leaves the car. Mu Young calls out her name but she doesn’t turn around. Mu Young cries by himself, he prays that it won’t be their last.

***

To be continued...
Writer: kanz
Pictures credit: as tagged, to owner